All the Lyttle Lyttons on one page.


I drew my customized Kimber 1911 .45, with the Pachmayr grips and skeletonized trigger, and leveled it coolly at the African-Americans.

Alex Thorpe

The bastard mayor tossed the money to his criminals. "Heh heh heh," everyone said.

Daniel Snyder (not the football one)

"Why do you love me?" asked Wildflower.
"I love you because you are brave, strong, beautiful, tough, kind, spunky, and pure," said Damien, "and unlike all the others, you stood up to Dictator James."

Shannah McGill

"The experiment of multiculturalism has failed," noted Captain Perry as he removed the laser-bayonet from the brown man's chest.

Liam Norton

The sky was gray, fitting for this grim dystopia.

Lachlan Redfern

"Mom," I asked my mom. "What's for breakfast?"
"You know I haven't made breakfast since your father died in a mysterious car crash a year ago on your birthday," she said sadly. "You have his eyes."

Akiel Surajdeen

Though she may have wiped away the tears, they just couldn't stop flowing. Like a wound on a patient without enough platelets, it kept pouring out, rapidly filling in the paths she tried to remove.

Lucas Finney

The cattle-rustler's whip sang through the air like a long thin snake.

Lauren McNaughton

Do you have the time
To read a little rhyme?

I can rhyme for ages,
For 400 pages!!!

Lauren McNaughton

With the brassy tocsin of his morning alarm clock, John Michaelson's weary eyes exploded open.

Tim Gray

Night falls in East L.A. with the crimson blood of men, as the day rises with women's tears.

Aimee L.

David fell into Greg's manful arms and cried against his waiting muscles.

Hannah Sim

Nothing would ever stop reminding me of Lisa and her body.

Hannah Sim

So we all had dicks, all of the boys — can I go on?

J. Robinson Wheeler

The dancers undressed; Liam noted their respective vulvae.

Zachary Cristina

All the girls at the school talked about makeup and boys, but Sheila wore ripped jeans and didn't care.

Hannah & David Meyer-Lindenberg

I hope you discover, my dear teenagers, reading about my life as a "rebel", that doing what your parents say isn't always bad, cuz it can be bitchin' sometimes.

Juan Hernandez

Ten years ago in the war, the only thing in which I thought I would be was "the shit," not this mansion where I live at now.

JJ Wright

I knew that Billy had hiked into my life on a trail of broken hearts, but I never guessed that mine too would soon be becoming a part of that trail.


They had the mettle of men, and yet they ate the biscuits of dogs.

Neil Martin

Jorge was helplessly gripped by the sight before him, like cojones in the hand of an expert dominatriz.


Found Contest

Like any Russian, Sokolov enjoyed a game of chess. At some level he was never not playing it!

REAMDE by Neal Stephenson
quoted by Ian Charlesworth

Serena fished the Tic Tac out and put it on her tongue, but she was so worried about her future, she could barely taste it.

Gossip Girl by Cecily von Zeigesar
quoted by Anant Pai

"Heaven help me!" she groaned, mentally. "Now is my hour of need!"

The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne
quoted by Ashley Rattner

When Nathaniel at last ventured distantly to hint of an engagement with Olympia, her father Professor Spalanzani smiled all over his face.

The Sandman by E.T.A. Hoffmann
quoted by Nat Hendel

For Google executive Forrest Timothy Hayes, heroin was the killer app.

Patrick May and Heather Somerville,, 2014.0725 quoted by Joey Schoblaska

The family road trip in America is as old as covered wagons headed west — older, if you consider the ocean a road.

Dean Nelson,, 2015 March/April
quoted by Daniel Koning

"Bees are good," Obama says, as children scream., 2015.0406
quoted anonymously


"Together, we will beat them all," she whispered, caressing the circlet-girt fontanelles of her #royalbaby.

Alex Thorpe

As we gazed into each other's eyes, Colin moved the front bits of my hair off my face and put them with my other hair.

Hannah Sim

As the abandoned temple crumbled, Professor Winston cried, "Utilize your rope!"

Ari Brill

All humans work at The Factory, which is run by robots and it makes more robots.

Harold S. Grimbly

It was 1995 the year the soccer teams came, kicking their balls, to town.

Gage Herrmann

"Well, this is passing strange," thought Shakespeare as he saw the dead body of the lady in Stratford-upon-Avon, "and methinks it dost bear investigating."

Stephen Strepsi

"This sure is a bad murder," quietly thought Detective Gaius Hanssen as he was investigating a hell of a crime at the Colosseum in Ancient Rome.

Kevin Sands

"The Crime Lads have done it again," I realized grimly, surveying my dead wife.

Hannah Sim

As he stared into her fiery alabaster eyes, the wealthy Earl Roderick realized that Lady Serena was not like the other Regency-era noblewomen he had known.

Kristen Ahrens

I gently began to fuck Tracey, and as the fucking continued we swept down and across the floor like midnight dancers.

Jake Scott

Darla lay aside her man, yowling cat noises in the glow of their grownup lovedance.


Their passionate love took flight as an explosion of sprawling limbs and content genitalia.

Felix Zhou

I couldn't believe what I heard as I read the words in her note which, like daggers, sliced up all my feels.

JJ Wright

Phil's tears fell softly, carried down his face by the gravity of her unfairness.

Piper Gragg

No one could love a dark-past'd vampire like me.

Lachlan Redfern

Nils awoke, contemplating the things of love.

Peter Berman

Dave, sitting there, thought to himself quietly about all the different things in the world.

Zachary Segel

The man with black skin took the big rubber ball and jumped and put it into the basket with a metal rim on a board.

Josh Chen

"No!" raged the swimmer, his opponent streaking by to touch the wall like a dolphin, "No."

Kinley Gibson

Ah, the first time I set eyes on Asia... a whole new world of rich descriptions and evocative atmospheres was unveiled before my eyes.

Chetan Desai

New York in the 80s: money was tight, but homies were tighter.

Jonas Sjöqvist

The mean loudmouths at Orangedale High just didn't understand Timmy, who only wanted to stay quiet and read and appreciate nature.

Shannah McGill

Stepping into the trinket shop, the musty air inhaled by Glenda's lungs went unnoticed, distracted by the air of wonder inhaled by her eyes.

Joe Smith

Dark. Cold. Vast. Shards, falling. Shapelessness. Formlessness. A wheeling, as of stars. Yes: you are inside my cerebral cortex, suckling on my thoughts.

Sam Horwood

Welcome to WikiPlot, the free novel that anyone can edit! LOL JOHN LIKED POO

Nick Mathewson

The rain loudly hits the sidewalk like bacon sizzles in a skillet, thinks Jake as he holds his coat collar closed, wishing he could trade the bitter cold for that meaty heat.

Greg Jensen

Casie did not enjoy the preference dreams, like lemon — red pepper — onion; she much preferred the simple dreams, like orange — orange.


Found Contest

Her spirit was as strong as the titanium sheathing her graphene-coral bones.

vN: The First Machine Dynasty by Madeline Ashby
quoted by Micah E.F. Martin

Drug lord Pablo Escobar's hippo died the same way he did, hunted down and shot by the authorities for posing a danger to the public., 2009.0711
quoted by Glen Chiacchieri

Birth defects affect us all, but particularly families with children who have birth defects., 2013.0807
quoted by Rowan Jacobs

I've fallen prey to the vicissitudes of limerence periodically since I felt the first pangs of adolescence.

deleted review of Meat Is Murder on
quoted by Jonathan Hill

Suddenly Alex had had enough. "Then why don't you go and ---- yourself." He spat out the swear word.

Scorpia Rising by Anthony Horowitz
quoted by Alex Huntington

It was that time again. The time where all the horses used to show off to their gods., 2013.0726
quoted by Aaron McGinniss

Obama chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"

@fanfiction_txt on Twitter, 2013.0430
quoted by Sid Delano


The men greeted each other, wearing various smiles on their faces.

Noah MacAulay

The stranger rode into town with eyes that said his sixgun would have stories to tell, if it spoke any language other than the guttural tongue of violence.

Cormac Leggatt

The town was built in the lowlands, risking flood, as if the founders dared the mighty mountains surrounding the town by asking for giant rivulets of detritus, saying "Give me them" to the mountains.

Ryan Maxwell

My dear wife jolted awake, rolled over, and looked at me. "I just lucid dreamed that I killed you," she said sadly.

Ian Waddell

We had succeeded in evaluating the strengths and needs of the enemy battlestation. "Eureka," I exclaimed. Prepare to utilize Attack Plan Theta on the rear defensive shield!

J. Forbes Stimson

Madison was a shy, awkward, inwardly beautiful teenaged girl just like you.

Brandon Specktor

Pius XIII stood on the balcony, triumphant. Earlier, when the white smoke had vacated the chimney, not one citizen of FurRome would have bet on a Shibu-Ina to emerge.

Sebastian Grillmaier

Charging, sprinting, loping with great speed, the cheetah lunged at Theodore Roosevelt, but he already had that cheetah dead to rights.

Alex Richardson

"This isn't fair!", wept Case, who had previously been the team captain but due to events yet to be described was not now.

Bob Nicholson

"Please, just give me the answers to the test!" said Ron. Jacob pulled his mouth over his teeth as if to say "I am not going to give you the answers."

Jack Goodger

Jacques entered out of the rain, drenched from that selfsame precipitate.

Alice Wilders

Carrie sat alone, at the most expensive restaurant in town, for the third time that month. Maybe if she turned her violet-eyed head the right way, she would get swept off her feet by a gorgeous man.

Joy Lester

The fast man raced quickly after the other man, while a third man tried to keep pace with the first man.

Kenneth McMahon

The sex I had with a girl last night filled me with a feeling of 100% Grade A joy.

Patrick Maginnis

John ejaculated with such strength as if to say "I love you Mary."

Michael Haddad

Amy gasped for her last breath, as she entered the intoxicating room of her brother.

Hannah Loomis

"BOOM!" said the bomb very loudly.


It was a beautiful night, and the full moon glew like it had never glown before.

Joshua Vincent

The fireman squad extinguished the house, as it was aflame.


Sirens had always made Simon feel safe, like being inside a strong man's muscles.

Roland N.

As all true prophets know, the lips of fate are tightly sealed, and only the crowbar that is the passing of time can manage to pry them open.

Kirsten Walther

Taft slid slowly, carefully into the bathtub. He knew that it would be the best bath that he and the bathtub had ever had.

Lawrence Friday

Found Contest

Like Venice in Italy, Thailand's magical Bangkok is built on a wide network of canals. So it should be no surprise that the art of the noodle is equally prized in each.

Chicken Pad Thai page on
quoted by Peter Berman

As Joseph Leahy, whose research focused on the biodegradation of hydrocarbons, ducked for cover, a bullet tore through the top of his head, severing his right optic nerve.

"What Made This University Researcher Snap?",
quoted by Kaj Sotala

FROM THE DIARY OF PIOTR KULCZYNSKI: My name is Piotr Kulczynski.

The Radiant Warrior by Leo Frankowski
quoted by Eitan Amiel

For years, scientists have been trying to harness the raw power of an eclipse.

Mitsubishi Eclipse commercial
quoted by Hugh Schreiber


Agent Jeffrey's trained eyes rolled carefully around the room, taking in the sights and sounds.

Davian Aw

Bang! As the bullet hit her ear, she felt an excruciating pain, as if her ear were screaming into itself.

Tanner Swett

She had the kind of face that made you want to say hey, look at your face.

Clara Weinstein

"I'm a winner," thought Seabiscuit, galloping across the finish line.

K.M. Lewis

"There was to be boxing," Steve muttered. "Punch, punch, punch."

Daniel Heddendorf

I parted her legs with great solemnity. "Hello old friend," I whispered.

Matt Lunn

As I approached the dairy aisle, wondering what milk to buy, I remembered my doctor suggested a low fat milk, so I purchased skim milk.

Dylan Koenig

Dolly looked upon her paper expeditiously then elevated up her pencil. She had now commenced not only a race against the clock, but a race to get the best mark ever in the class.

Heather C.

Wow. He was firmly mesmerized by her bright blue eyes that complemented her blue floral dress.


Her golden hair bounced in the breeze like farm-fresh honey flowing from a jar.

Linda Nathaniel

The moon shone like a star, while tears of heaven rained the sky.

Dominikus Plaschg

A lone plastic grocery bag fluttered in the breeze, like a sail without a boat.

Janet Wanstrath

She was really really hot, her breast like flames to my heart and mind.

Edgar Cruz

Today was the night where our love was to be consummated, by making love.

Jhonatan Arteaga

Albert Einstein claimed that the only universal constant is light. However, Einstein never witnessed the power of Vittoria Lionheart's love.

Alex Hennessey

"Do you still love me, John?" I asked. "I don't love you, Marie," came the reply from the letter I held in my shaking hands.

David Hewitson

Even as I leaned on the lamppost, the sadness of my heart could not be brightened.

Kirsten Walther

It was the worst possible news he could have received. He howled an inarticulate howl of rage, and threw the various decorations on his mahogany desk all across the small room.

Daniel Strowe

Gramlax the Mighty raised his broadsword overhead and swung it mightily, roaring, "You fellows will certainly pay!"

Peter Craig

Kaldor fondled the hilt of his sword with his lanky fingers and inhaled the sunrise. "I taste the future blood of my enemies," he relished.

Cassandra Tse

Melissae's ears, which ears were long and pointed on account of her proud elfin heritage, were perked up.

Dan Bruno

Robert woke up in a hospital bed and he couldn't remember the criminal man he had just killed moments before.

Kat Palacios

My pen allowed me to write this tale, your eyes to read it, your mind to "get it."

Ken Ullsperger

Just as we were moving from the wedding to the reception, Mother demanded, "Show me by the way that you dance that you are."

Rachel Kelly

Stephen knew today felt wrong, as he listened to "Heart Cooks Brain," by the band "Modest Mouse," from the album "Lonesome Crowded West."

Max Peake

The cat sat in silence on the window sill, doing catlike things while watching his owner tend to the makings of supper.

Linda Dao

Sheila woke up instantly; it was that dream again — the one with the face, and the man, with the face.

Sean Jorgensen

Found Contest

It was August 2009. On this sunny morning, Lake Como was a picture of tranquility, a striking contrast to the turbulence of the global apparel industry.

HBR Case: VF Brands: Global Supply Chain Strategy
quoted by Sophia Lowe

I have been married to my wife Janice for 38 years. We have four daughters and have been blessed with twelve grandchildren. I can relate to individual and family issues.

flyer for David Dorward, Conservative candidate for Edmonton-Gold Bar
quoted by Ian Waddell

I awakened with renewed hope that I grimly tried to suppress.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
quoted by Tracey Pennington

In interacting with Japanese women, I noticed something.

a Something Awful post
quoted anonymously

In the Land of Wasteland, there lived a city called Sand City.

an entry in a writing contest
quoted by Andrew Laskowski

I draw a hot sorrow bath in my despair room.

Keanu Reeves, Ode to Happiness
quoted by Katherine Morayati


The red hot sun rose in the cold blue sky.

Judy Dean

'Pfft' — he knew the silent but deadly whisper of a silenced SIG SG 550 rifle with a 650mm barrel and a 254mm rifling twisting rate.

Chloe W.

This is the story of how one woman overcame breast cancer by never ever losing faith in herself.

Victor Gijsbers

When my homie pulled out his gat, the first thing I said was, "That is very tight!"

Aurelio Ramos

Cowboy Bret said to Dave (another cowboy), "Now let's rustle up these cattles."

George Moomau

A wind was blowing from east to west, as if it were the sun, blowing instead of shining.

James Gilker

I passed the fledgling plastic to the checkout chick. "Cred?" she said.

Alex Moon

The blood that was dripping onto the parched floor resembled a Rorschach ink-blot test, invented in 1921 by Hermann Rorschach.

Steve Adamczyk

He, from a physical stature, was short.

Katherine Leisering

"Caw! Caw!" went the birds as the massacres happened (the birds represent sadness).

Mike Sylvia

He kissed Abigail sensually, as if to say "I still need you" with his lips.

Bryan Berrey

"Bring me the light of your love," Steve purred into my ears.


"My heart medication!" slowly remembered Dwayne, but his lateness was a stark reality.

Roger Strouse

This was the story of a brave man, a freeman, who can't stop touching society.

Tadashi Narumi

"AAHHH" she screamed in horror as her infant rocketed from inside her towards the free world.

Ryan Hix

"Me, I like a girl with a couple extra pounds on her," said Tom, subtly negging his target.

Mark Whitrock

The spice filled up my taste buds, and was quite lovely.

James Oliver

Mongoose-to-cobra, two serpentine forms, he was my rival; are we fighting in these holes, or are we really making love?

Susie Thai

Princess Amabel brushed her silky golden hair and tried not to think about my breasts.

Hannah Sim

The detective could smell the murder on the knife.

Jordan Brown

"NOOOOOOOOOON!" cried Poirot Jr., falling to his knees and rending his fledgling moustaches, "But when will ze killings end?!"

Rich McDowell

"You just may be the most beautiful perp I've ever laid sensors on," thought the robot lieutenant as his humanoid partner ate donuts unaware.

Will Nicholes

This story is about a man and a woman, with lots of things sticking into things.

Ethan Owens

He lived in a time of stories told by many.

Dan Philips

Her "parents," her "boyfriends" — Angel knew she'd never be truly understood by anyone.

Rita Mathis

Let's rap about the issues of today.

Jonas Sjöqvist

No matter how hard life got, Zade thought, ska would always be there.

Brice Reynolds

Bad ending winners

As I stood there, looking at the ground, I thought to myself, "Was it all worth it?", but then my train of thought was interrupted by a small, yet angry, cobra.

Ben Thomas

Then she died sobbing. Except platinum-level members at my website can download an awesome premium ending that has sex instead.

Nick Mathewson

Slowly, carefully, and with a lot of understanding, he put his mouth onto her mouth.

name withheld, quoting Achewood 2009.0630 by Chris Onstad

Found Contest

While they had been together after being married, exalting in their love, something had been outside the door, exalting in death.

Brian Click, quoting Terry Goodkind, The Sword of Truth

The intruder attempted to break down the reinforced door with his axe, shouting phrases like "We will get our revenge!", "Revenge!" and "Blood!"

Asher Stuhlman, quoting Wikipedia on Kurt Westergaard

After the firestorm, Sally Quinn entered the concrete meditation labyrinth her husband had built for her on their country estate in St. Mary's County, Maryland, to think.

anonymous, quoting Evgenia Peretz, Vanity Fair 2010.07

The heating was down, all the toilets closed and there was no way to get something hot to drink.

Christos Dimitrakakis, quoting Reuters 2010.1217

Like a present that suddenly arrived, we come into this world. We come into this world in miniature.

Rachel Spitler, quoting a segment on NBC's Today

Several billion years ago, that whirling speck of dust known as the Earth, fifth in size among the planets, came into being.

Colin Whisler, quoting David Kennedy et al., The American Pageant

Her cheeks were rosy and so was my love — bursting with fragrance and softness.

Jared Wheeler, quoting Kaplan's guide to the AP English test

"Shame on you," he scorns at you in anger, "Shame!"

anonymous, quoting "arachnobot"

"Wow," said David Spergel, an astrophysicist at Princeton who was not involved in the work.

a whole bunch of different people, quoting Dennis Overbye,, 2010.1110


"I shouldn't be saying this, but I think I'll love you always, baby, always," Adam cried into the email.

Shexmus Amed

Splashy the whale smiled secretively, flapping his flappers and swimming.

Jackie J.

The meteor formed a crater, vampires crawling out of the crater.

Peter Berman

This is a story about a racist hero who dies at the end, probably painfully since he'll get shot in the face.

Kat Masterson

"You are the greatest human in the world," the dragon told the boy who desperately wanted to be a dragon, too.

Adam Contini

This is a mystery about a murder I committed.

Lachlan Redfern

"Murder is the most terrible crime of them all," the police commissioner thought to himself as he loitered purposefully near the deli counter.

Aidan Daly

Once upon a time, there was a talking lamp whose lightbulb fell out and hit a person and the person got shocked and destroyed everything.

Megan Groppe

Zandor stood in the doorway, raking the onlooking crowd with the hot coals of his eyes.

Mark Caudill

The general, one might have said, had a sly, sneering-smile expression upon his face.

Sara Barrett

There was only one man salubrious enough to assuage my hunger for love — senator Saxby Chambliss (R-GA).

Kevin Sands

"You are in pain; both physical and emotional," my heart informed me.

Daniel Blackmore

When John left me he took with him my heart, my soul, my everything — which included my happiness, my appetite, my energy, and even my tears!!

Zhao Feng

"Great Caesar's Ghost!" Amy sputtered. "What glorious lovemaking!"

Philip Stephen Ivanhoe

"OMG" texted Sue-Anne to her compatriot Ellen, "MY OWN PARENTS R DED!" It looked like the Mystery Girls had a new mystery!

G. Paal

"Approach ramming speed!" commanded Commander Klamsky, as her frigate plowed through the celestial ocean at erupting speeds.

Austin Arrendale

Bookended with firecrackers, her birth was an auspicious occasion, festooned with all the ornaments of her birth, and solemn.

Dawson Smith

As someone who has menstruated, I thought, I could tell you it's no picnic.

Mary Potts

"Hearken," he spake, drawing thither, "and alight thine eyes on yon comely maiden betwixt such knaves as they."

Joseph Smith

The battlefield stank thick with writhing "progressives."

Neil Martin

Tuesday. Africa. Lion o'clock.

Jamie Harding

Found Contest

Some things are so small, so miniscule, so atomically insignificant, they can be seen only from three feet away using the Hubble telescope.

anonymous, quoting Rick Reilly, ESPN the Magazine, 2009.0629

Some things are so small, so miniscule, so atomically insignificant, they can be seen only from three feet away using the Hubble telescope. The heart of Jean Musgjerd is one of these things.


Nine-year-old Kyle Graddy looked out across a minor league baseball diamond for the first time in his life and pondered the possibility of his own death.

Dylan Telfer, quoting Thom Patterson,, 2009.1021

Street punks live in a fantasy world of invincibility, and our fear turns their dreams into reality.

Duncan Cross, quoting Curtis Sliwa and Murray Schwartz, Street Smart

Andy Hallett was an only child who grew to stand 6'2".

Paul O'Brian, quoting entry on Hallett

The saying "I have got your back" almost never has the literal meaning of receipt or possession of another's spine.

Chip Snaxley, quoting entry on figures of speech

At the peak of a golden career Liu Yan lost control of the very limbs that experts say made her dances so magical.

Daniel Koning, quoting David Barboza, New York Times, 2009.0417

David Becker had never held a gun, but he was holding one now.

Scott Silverstein, quoting Dan Brown, Digital Fortress

THIS STORY BEGINS on a Beautiful sunny day in Daytona Beach Florida With a man by the name of David Braymer. A 45-year-old Single man that works at the local High school as a science teacher and astrology in the 12-grade level.

Emily Joynes, quoting Dale Courtney, Moon People

Knuckles resembles a human, but with differences. Knuckles is neither male nor female, though referred to as a "he." Three-quarter-inch-thick dark-violet-colored (FFA000E0) fur covers his entire body. He is only 25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide, and 2.5 inches deep.

Neil Klopfenstein, quoting Nick Smith, Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters

"By the whirling rings of Saturn," he growled as he gazed disconsolately at his paper-strewn desk. "I'd like to have those directors of ITA here on Mercury for just one Earth-month."

Dan Schmidt, quoting Arthur Leo Zagat, "The Great Dome on Mercury"

Jennifer stood there imagining how good that pear would be.

anonymous, quoting Stephen Peterson, "What's Wrong With God... Or Is It You?"

*((Gotta put First Things First))*

Adam Cadre, quoting Sarah Palin, official transcript of resignation speech


The mighty frigate Indestructible rounded the Horn of Africa and lurched east'ard.

Pete Wirtala

Pika ... chu, thought Pikachu.


Alex turned to Gertrude, in much the same way Martin Landau turned to Barbara Bain in the opening of Space: 1999.

Alex Dering

For many, surfing can be a pleasant and enjoyable pastime, if you like surfing, but not Peter.

Cormac Leggatt

Zamboni doubled — nay, TRIPLED over in happiness-demolishing agonies.

Leon Arnott

I have the ability to go through time, he suddenly remembered while at a bus stop near a tree.

Adam Box

Deep space. The silence of the void. Shh.

Anthony Hope

Deborah walked briskly down the street with pants on her legs.

Susie Thai

Jerry's wife looked forward to a romantic time with him, Jerry.

Neil Haven

"Ooh la la!" whispered Larry in French.

Jim Van Donsel

Farmer John admired the golden corn, sprouting from the ground like buried treasure.

Drew McWilliams

"Tectonic plates fascinate me," she says, her eyes swiftly darting from my eyes to the ground, and back again.

Ian Waddell

"I hope I win," thought Ernest, blinking laboriously; he was proud to represent his country in the Olympics, but "What did it all mean?"

Deborah Grumet

Found Contest

"Caramba!" exclaimed Diego de Fonseca, "a cucaracha has fallen onto the tortillas of my wife!"

Neal Stephenson, The Confusion

Despite having ascended to the most powerful political office in the world, President Zachary Herney was average in height, with a slender build and narrow shoulders.

Scott Silverstein, quoting Dan Brown's Deception Point

A leg and part of a torso lay on the sidewalk — the remains of Alan Tompkins.

Mark Wells, quoting LaHaye and Jenkins's Left Behind

Huang Lee has a simple mission: deliver an ancient sword to his Uncle Kenny.

anonymous, quoting the box to Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

Org of Otterland was not Duke Og and Duchess Dina's first child, for that honor belonged to Natalya, brown-haired, eyed, and furred.

not signed, quoting Duke Otterland's Org's Odyssey

No matter what you believe, whether you're Christian, Muslim, or Jew, this is where it probably happened.

Josh Wood, quoting a PBS plug for a show about Israel

The door, which had been left open a few inches, was ajar.

Ella Manley, quoting something she read somewhere


Because they had not repented, the angel stabbed the unrepentant couple thirteen times, with its sword.

Graham Swanson

Sophi broke down in tears, like a diesel car that had run out of petrol.

Karina Kantas

Her face, though scalded, was as lily-white as I could ever want as we jovially kissed.

Lucus Keppel

Portia, distracted, brushed the fetlocks of her steed, murmuring softly.

Miles Wilson

The Ramadan tree was lit, and Aladdin joyfully sat around it.

Mary Potts

Queen Elizabeth sat alone, wondering when Napoleon was gonna get there.

Jennian Leister

This story is a murder mystery — the mystery of a murder.

Guy Hungerford

John Gantry surveyed the grim aftermath of battle through the aft porthole.

Walt Freitag

Hussein read the agent's TSA badge, gently grazed his strong hand with hers, and whispered two words that would change her love life forever.

Nathan von Colditz

Liz Trundy burst onto the stage to the wild applause of her fellow Mary Kay comrades, unaware that the wildest applause came from Digby Jones, NFL punt receiver, who had never let himself forget her.

Erin Spradlin

Bob is sad. :(

Mozell Gibbons

Under Bob's fez was another.

Jeff Marr

As Lucas hunkered in the shadows waiting for his name to be called he fiddled with his cuff links, praying that this time his knife thrusts would be sufficient.

Brian Derksen

FUCK. I scream and pound my monitor so hard it stops functioning for four minutes, but I'm not using it anyway. I'm crying.

Ken Carfox


David Poore

The thing is, you can never really tell if a person is looking out from behind their own eyes, or if the eyes are being piloted by tiny mice in swivel-chairs.

Noah Smith

Sadly, Jim retracted his penis; it obviously wasn't welcome here.

Alex Burleson

Sleep was about to clutch my eyes, when suddenly the text rang through my head. Peering at my phone I saw, "WTF? LMAO!" and I could not help but smile.

Jackie Goodman

Found contest

Tears are permanent when you tattoo them to your face.

anonymous, quoting, 24 October 2007

Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony.

anonymous, quoting Amazing Spider-Man #544

At the risk of exposing myself to that dreadful epithet, unorthodox, I am jumping feet-first with you into the past tense.

Daniel Koning, quoting Madrigal's Magic Key to Spanish

I observed this wheelchair dude in the vestibule. He was waiting for me.

Rui Pires, adapting an sample sentence from Apple Thesaurus

With the backbreaking work of the Gold Rush came massage techniques from across the globe.

from a pamphlet at the Claremont Resort & Spa in Berkeley


It clawed its way out of Katie, bit through the cord and started clearing.

Gunther Schmidl

"Crime," declared the police captain, "is everywhere, crime, crime!"

Carl Muckenhoupt

The foot delivered an unending holocaust of pain as it rocketed into Zamboni's crotch.

Leon Arnott

Ah, poetic Paris: with its pâtés and beaujolais, tiramisu and au jus.

Leslie Muir

Emperor Wu liked cake, but not exploding cake!

Bret Victor

The ship sliced through the ocean like wood through water.

J. Hudson

I knew it was called salsa dancing, but phew!

Rachel Spitler

Beatrice was aware that many had stood before her at this sacred place, with their own reasons, but with surprisingly few footprints.

Lisa Lindquist

Either the skeleton was a sheila, or some bloke had been sleeping with two silicone balloons on his chest.

Simon Parker

Anthony's eyes bulged as we all watched, with languid, infinite slowness, his skull float across the cockpit.

Ben Tolkin

MacGyver had grown old.

Mathias Frank

Mesa Jar Jar Binks, and thisa mesa story!

Davina Aw

Shylockina, Queen of the Jews, surveyed her realm.

Tristan Parker

"What a horrible future we live in!" said FutureMax!

Mary Potts

The dawn blushed; not because it was embarrassed (that doesn't even make sense), but because light bends funny.

Sean Kermes

The air hung heavy with the perfume of the circus — elephants, greasepaint and hot buttered chimps.

Mark Schweizer

The flowers in the meadow grew slowly, as did my erection.

Jacob Roberts

Tingling with joy and anticipation, Paul's gonads are just exactly that way.

Jessie Mahan

It was more than a flirtation — he parted her labia like Moses did the Red Sea.

Clay White

For hobos, spring was the season of love.

Rob Lenzi

"BRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" rang the alarm clock, awakening me from my Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate-induced slumber.

Deborah Grumet

BUDDABUDABDABUDDA, went the bullets.

Brendan Adkins

Freeform contest, more forgiving

Oh no! There they were coming! Francis shut his eyes and jumped into the fray. WANG! went the shovel wielded by him against the zombies. WANG! WANG!

Max L.

Scaling Everest was, by far, the most amazing and transformative experience of my life. Unfortunately, this is a thesis on context-free grammars.

Jonathan Blum

Eve stood there, half-eaten apple in one hand, desire burning in her eyes. Adam screamed "Jesus woman what the fuck have you done?!!"

Edna Watkins

Found Contest

Fukutsuru died in 2005 but his frozen sperm lived on for people's benefit.

Eero Vitie, quoting the Wikipedia entry on Fukutsuru

The king of ketchups was being dethroned, and I wanted an explanation.

Dan Schmidt, quoting Leigh Belanger in Cook's Illustrated

Clarissa plunges — a verb of great adventurous spirit — into her day.

Hannah Douglas, quoting "The Sane Woman in the Attic: Sexuality and Self-Authorship in Mrs. Dalloway" by Jesse Wolfe

He was marooned in the jaws of a human minefield, and with every step the noose grew tighter.

Paul and Anthony Cuneo, quoting sports columnist Jerry Izenberg in the New Jersey Star Ledger

Feel your tensions melt away as you drive down Wildflower Lane; the natural beauty of the trees, the wildflowers and deer are all there to welcome you as you enter Domaine Madeleine.

P. Scott Hamilton, quoting

I'll never forget that first morning I saw Francois Lake from outside of the front door of a small red log cabin as a small boy in late winter.

Jacqui Graham, quoting Richard Cannon in the program for the 1999 Francois Lake Bluegrass and Acoustic Roots Festival

It was rumored that the necklace had cost close to a million dollars. This was a small fortune in India — far beyond the reach of most people.

name withheld, quoting "Blind Spot" written by Lynne Rebeiro & J. Chloe Braun

Anamaria had already gotten up obviously because there was no Anamaria in Anamaria's bed.

Christine Dearden, quoting

Screenplay contest



COW is standing in the field.

    The cow is sad.
        (Pretending to be a mournful cow.)
Sean Kermes
Ext., outside Port-a-John.

A giant radioactive werewolf eats DORALEEN while
boyfriend CHUCK looks on in horror. 

            Doraleen! Are you okay?
Mary Potts

A group of furry brown squirrels run and play in 
the clearing of a dense thicket. Off to the side,
PANDORA the squirrel leans against a tree smoking.
Her fur is dyed black, culminating in a purple
spike at the top of her head. She takes a drag of
her cigarette and squints up at the sun. 

               My life is a void.
Bryan Fernando

A study in subdued luxury.  A tall, handsome
figure enters — it's ME. 

I have ninety minutes and lots of unpopular
opinions, so let's get started.
Jonathan Blum


The mega beasts were united by only one thing: their size.

entry not signed

His eyes were brown, although you wouldn't know it just by looking.

Dan Shiovitz

I just recently came off a trip to the Far East, and it struck me that I was in a region of the world where wars had started.

George W. Bush

This is the cipher key for all that follows: |||||| || |!

P. Scott Hamilton

Dora liked to explore.

Nicole Dickison

Does the dance of love have to be a dairy of romantic sonnets; can it not be a Haiku and still be sensually poetic?

Sue Randolph

"The hero has cancer," thought the doctor grimly.

Jon Pile

Bill's goiter had burst and it was on my head, Mary thought quietly.

Jim McGarva

"I can't!" screamed Jake to whomever was outside the airplane's single lavatory.

Neil Haven

Cries of "Ahoy!" broke the turgid silence of the golf course; the Cap'n approached.

entry not signed

James took Mary's hand — not in matrimony just yet, but plain physically — and led her to the altar.

Jonas Sjöqvist

I woke up shuddering; my soul was now dead inside.

Daniel Koning

Everyone in the year 2020 knows about nanobots!

Ben Syverson

Byg Lytton, multiple sentences

The evil Intergalactic Emperor surveyed the destruction he wrought. "Booyah!" he cried with glee. "I'm in ur base! I'm killing all ur mans!"

James Wall

"And that's when I stabbed her in the face," Jake finished. The rest of the support group looked on in horror and abject confusion. They weren't sure what this had to do with testicular cancer, but they knew it had to be bad.

Amanda Teager

On November the 22nd, 1963, an innocent man by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald stood inside the Texas School Book Depository, burdened with the knowledge of what would soon happen, but with no way that he could possibly prevent it. Seconds later an American presidency was destroyed. He never had a chance to tell his story. This is his story.

Daniel Koning

Dear Mister Spray:
     I am writing to you to inform you of your son's death. What follows were his last words.

Steven Dasheiff

The door dilated1.

1This is in the future, when doors dilate instead of opening the way they do now.

Nick Montfort


John, surfing, said to his mother, surfing beside him, "How do you like surfing?"

Eric Davis

Man oh man, you're gonna like this book; boy howdy.

Duncan Stevens

Before I drop this narrative shit, here's a quick shout-out to that old Classics professor who said I couldn't write for jack: yo, suck me!

Mark Silcox

Get ready to take a virtual tour of sydney australia through the backyards of a kangaroo who will punch you in the head fifty times!

Simon Vertigo

Braille haiku on the gravestone served to excite some while sighted visitors needed only touch the smoothly polished shapes.

Perry Hamilton

Dr. Metzger turned to greet his new patient, blithely unaware he would soon become a member of a secret brotherhood as old as urology itself.

Alec Kyras

"Joy is contagious," he said, peering into the microscope.

Morgan Shinstine

Her ovine familiar baaahed angrily.

Curt Long

The spaceship was crashing, but, more importantly, John and Greta were having sex in it.

Ben Waldorf


This is the story of your mom's life.

Rachel Lambert

"Tasty waffle?" Jim suggested alluringly, prodding me with the afore-mentioned breakfast food.

Rachel Lambert

The dame had balls, you had to give her that, and a Jetta.

Vera Tobin

I wanted to name the heroine Siobhan but didn't know how to pronounce it — screwy Celtic pronunciation — and now I do but it's too late.

Daniel Lackey

Juicy, their love was like forbidden fruit: tasty.

Peter Berman

We write the year 2347, a world abound with nuclear alacrity, when suddenly Frank enters with a smile.

Christos Talanoez

I know who the murderer is, Kevin blogged.

Scott Kurruk

My English teacher, Mrs. Robinson, always said to start in the middle of something interesting, so here's Peter encased in 50 cubic feet of Jell-O.

Michael Martin

While a hellish yowl tore my throat, the panicked kitten — in fact me — leapt crying for the throat of Julia, there seeking comfort — and revenge.

Andy Holloway

Bad first line of a political speech

While my opponents fellate the Satan of special interests, I go down on Reform's compassionate angel.

name withheld

My fellow Americans, as you know, my foreign policy can be summed up in five words: "Iludium-236 Explosive Space Modulator."

Daniel Lackey

Critics are calling me a fat cat, viciously ignoring the fact that I've been working out.

Christos Talanoez

Now, you're all aware of my vocal campaign against the global slave trade, so what I am about to confess may raise a few eyebrows.

Andrew Davis

I am pleased to announce that, although attitudes have improved immensely, the beatings will continue.

M. Boots


For centuries, man had watched the clouds; now, they were watching him.

Stephen Sachs

It was just like Jack The Ripper, only, this time, Jack was a she, and possibly some form of time-traveller.

Devin O'Reilly

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; I know that's a contradiction but bear with me.

Francis Heaney

Sing, O Muse, of Tiffany's wrath on Triple Coupon Day.

Naomi Chana

It happened exactly like this... well, maybe not exactly, but I'm fairly confident about the major points—not that I was there, though.

Gordon Farrell

Michael had always wanted to lactate.

Jennifer Arnold

I really hope you like this book, because I wrote the whole thing totally naked!

Dan Sandler

Indubitably, this was not the sort of soup that engendered wholesome thoughts of energetic eating.

Alex Smaliy

The inner workings of the kidney, which you will no doubt find quite interesting, can, albeit shocking to some, be downright astonishing to others.

Mark Musante

In retrospect, Grace realized she probably shouldn't have fucked a Republican.

M. Waggoner

"Son, defenestration is your only option."

Rob Harris

Thirty days left, forty nine thousand nine hundred eighty seven words to go.

Dan Schmidt

Terrible second line to Edward George Bulwer-Lytton's Paul Clifford contest

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Steeling himself for battle, Fyandor, the oldest and bravest of the lamps, proclaimed, "Nay, foul wind, this will not be the night of our extinguishment!"

entry not signed

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. The lamps weren't the only ones struggling — indoors, I was having the dickens of a time unhooking my betrothed's Gordian knot of a bra.

Jim Berry

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. After blinking wordlessly at the scene for a few moments, Clarence exclaimed "This screen-saver sucks ass!" and switched back to the flying toasters.

Mark Silcox

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Likewise, gusts of faith checked torrents of blahs, agitating Beth's innermost hope lamps — get it?

Peter Berman

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. A cloaked figure stepped off the sidewalk (for it is in a puddle that we continue our scene) and a splash soaked his trousers.

Mark Musante

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Meanwhile, elsewhere, in Paris perhaps, it was less dark but also stormier.

Joe Mason

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Actually, I was just kidding; our scene lies in El Paso.

Dan Sandler

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. To unbendingly trudge through pelting precipitation, turn to Page 17.

Peter Berman

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. And me without my umbrella.

Dan Schmidt

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Bob triple-checked the weatherstripping.

Naomi Chana

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Things were mighty atmospheric, you see.

Duncan Stevens

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. Yup... dark and stormy.

Francis Heaney


The pain wouldn't stop, and Vern still had three cats left.

Andrew Davis

"I raped your sister," cruelly he sneered, "and now she is no problem," and my friends that is the day my heart tore a sunder.

Andrew Plotkin

His dark heart pulsated with raw evil, as he pumped it, furiously.

Aris Katsaris

Listen: once upon a time (well, actually twice but I think the first one doesn't really count...or is that "didn't") there was some guy!

Top Changwatchai

Gordon strove to be a nice pimp.

Peter Berman

Herein lurk delegitimized power structures and epistemological straitjackets and stuff.

Duncan Stevens

Bad ending winners

"Lawd a'mighty," howled Caleb, to the consternation of those few who still remained in the helpless, drifting lifeboat, "some of y'all are lookin' mighty tasty!"

Mark Silcox

And that was it, more or less, except for dear Gwendolyn who had a little trouble with syphilis for some time afterwards.

Terje Johansen

But Gran was once again lost in quiet reminiscence, or perhaps her epilepsy.

Andrew Davis

Bound, blindfolded, and buttered, at last Leopold knew the semblance of peace.

Ronan Leggatt

While defeating Mutantis, Gyroman lost everything, but learned that sometimes the clothes do make the man.

Bruce Otter

Her sad death thirty-nine years (and four books, if my plans hold) later, would help lessen my rather unspeakable distress at this happily-ever-after ending.

Aris Katsaris

Maria's flossing was now complete.

Chris Piuma


Turning, I mentally digested all of what you, the reader, are about to find out heartbreakingly.

Top Changwatchai

The cosmonauts were transfixed with wonderment as the sun set — over the Earth — there lucklessly, untethered Comrade Todd on fire.

Jonathan Thomson

Mary (who dies at the end, so don't get all surprised like the stupid person who wrote me on my other book) loved Joe, a lot.

Nathan Eady

If you're going to start reading my novel, please stop touching yourself like that.

Nick Montfort

Monica had exploded, and I had a mystery, and pieces of her pancreas, on my hands.

Bruce Otter

The moon was full, the hot-dog-eating contest was over, and I had a lot of throwing up to do.

Gary Thorn

A lone testicle lay in a barren field.

Jon Tando

"Handful of Meat" was, unfortunately, more than just the name of Carl's band.

Randy Patton

Jeremy didn't remember eating corn or, for that matter, wearing his good loafers.

Michael Wells

Leon fell out of the goat.

Rob Tobias

First, let me give you some background on the whole monkey thing.

real name withheld

"Man, you won't believe what happened to me tonight," Dave declared, bursting into our dorm room, "but first I gotta go beat off!"

Jonathan Boggess

The night passed like a kidney stone: painfully and with the help of major sedatives.

Tony Delgado

Before I got hit by that ole bus, I never used to think much, but now I think PLENTY.

Mark Silcox

Done with slaughtering nuns and the infirmed out of cyber-lust, Mandroid turned his optical probes towards a more pastoral (and spiritually recondite) existence.

Dennis Slade

In anticipation, John licked his own lips.

Andrew Lloyd

Hank, Herculean therapist, cleansed the Augean stables of my soul.

Peter Berman

To stand tall, to humbly crawl; to laugh, to cry; to puke bitterly, to suck on come what may — here follows my turbulent infancy.

Jason Melancon

Six o'clock comes early, and so does death.

author unknown

In 3010, the potatoes triumphed.

Nat Gertler